Ok, so now we are all tired. I keep hearing folks talking about wanting to sleep, not having energy. Of course we are tired, we were buzzing for nearly 2 weeks. As I mentioned before the parallels with the grief process are quite apparent. Are you noticing you feel forgetful? Tired? Brain foggy? This is grief. Now it is time to lean into that grief. Have you let yourself cry yet? I invite you to think about ways that you can allow yourself to release the sadness. If you live alone you can wail on your living room floor if you like, for those of you with other people in your households, roommates or family, maybe sit in your car? Go for a walk? Find a way to allow yourself this release. This shit is sad and so uncertain. When will life return to the way it was? Is it even possible? So many questions that can’t be answered.
Active Surrender
This is the perfect time to practice Active Surrender. Those of you who are clients of mine, may have listened to me read this to you in session. This passage is from a poetry book called Coming Home to Myself by Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick.
“In defeat, we are forced to lay down our sword; in active surrender we consciously choose to lay it down. We consciously accept that certain things are beyond our control. We consciously accept that things should be beyond our control. We learn to separate out what needs action from what requires our acceptance and embrace. We choose the unknown.”
The book goes on to talk about how there is freedom in active surrender and that it can be a source of energy, much like taking action. I love this concept of laying down our swords. What can I control? I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it.
We can control two things:
• How we spend our time.
• What we put in our bodies.
Ok, so you may be wondering about the title and how it relates…let me explain. Every morning when I finish my shower I have a decision to make. I can either squeegee my shower door or not. What happens if I don’t squeegee my shower door each morning? It will become more difficult to clean in a week, a month, a year, and on and on. When we take the time to do things that help take care of ourselves (i.e. part of what we CAN control), it will be easier on us. If I go for a walk every day or journal daily, that contributes to the cleanliness of my body.
Just like my shower door needs to be squeegeed daily, what are the things I need to do daily to take care of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health? And remember, if you miss a day, it’s ok. There’s always tomorrow.
To think about our needs let’s use the SPICES acronym. I learned this tool when I taught a parenting curriculum called The Nurturing Parenting Program. I loved it because their entire belief was that you know how to be a good parent, as long as you are taking care of yourself!
Here is a fun way to remember our needs:
The SPICES
Social Needs – need to connect with others
Physical Needs – sleep, physical activity, water, nutrition, breathing, sex
Intellectual Needs – need to be challenged and learn new ideas
Creative Needs – need for creative expression
Emotional Needs – need for security and trust
Spiritual Needs – need for a sense of purpose, connection and a belief in a greater good
What is your daily recipe? Click here to download a self-assessment worksheet on the SPICES. I encourage you to spend time exploring your needs and work to do the things you know you need.
Just like the shower door needs to be squeegeed every day, what does your body, mind, soul need every day to keep shining?
This is a time to honor and listen to what our bodies need and be ok with it. If you are finding you need extra sleep, let yourself sleep. If you are feeling like taking action on a project, roll with it. Practice curiosity. Notice the cycles and rhythms in your life. Get curious about why some days are easier than others to “squeegee the shower door”!
Here’s a quick video clip about Self Care and what different people do to care for themselves.
These blogs are meant to be revisited when you need to. Sometimes we feel inspired and like we can handle everything, other days we can hardly get out of bed. Revisit the blogs on the days you feel challenged, heavy and unable to move.
And if you haven’t already…. don’t forget to do the Census!
“In fateful crisis, we really may have no choice”
– Marion Woodman on Active Surrender.